Drunk Koreans

"Hey man."

We look over. "Hey. Cheers." It's directed at my American Friend. A nod is returned and we resume our conversation. "Hey man," Uh-oh. Drunken conversation about to overtake inhibition and logic. "You're cool. You American?" Yes was the reply. "I like-a you speak English." The next question was directed at me. "You American?" No was MY reply (who would have thought?). This apparently was of no interest to the enquirer and our new aquaintance resumed all eyes and attention to my friend, who was being very accommodating.

"I sit?" he says as he plonks down opposite us, deserting his Sober Friend at the next table. Sober Friend was a good man. He could sense the evening could turn at any stage and he joined us to keep an eye on his friend for fear of disgrace and would apologise intermittenly for the rest of the evening for his friend's gradual descent into incoherancy.

A round of drinks is ordered and Mr Drunk downs a full glass of red like it was a shot. After he's already had beer and whisky for many hours prior. Sober Friend begins to act as translator, though I think some parts he made up himself. For like when the two would seem to be arguing amongst themselves in Korean for a few minutes, furrowed brow and arms gesticulating, before Sober Friend turns to us in an aura of calm to ask, "Where you work?"

Lots of little conversations ensued, each of us having snippets of each other's conversations.

Drunk to American: You look like artist.
American to Drunk: Haha, I'm not.
Me to Drunk: He's a writer.
American to Me: Don't lie now.
Drunk to American: Hey I'm talking to you.
Sober to Drunk: (Korean) &^%*)%#.
American to Drunk: What...?
Sober to American: 足球... We play on Saturday...
Drunk to American: (Korean) *%#@(_#...
American to Me: You were saying?
Me to Sober: 足球? Oh soccer...
Drunk to American: I like you.

It was getting awkward and we were the last customers left in the bar. The music had stopped. The lights seemed brighter. Mr Drunk was however quite at ease and smiles benignly. We sit. Eventually he decides it was time to go. Sober Friend bids us farewell and like a lifesaver, guides Mr Drunk gingerly through the door.