One Moonlit Night

Has there been a greater gap between posts?  Tonight, as fate would have it, I was guided back to this blog.  Once forgotten, like a book collecting dust on the shelves, I have come back to revisit.  Why?  I'm not sure.  Do I have a voice again?  Not particularly.  What do I want to, or need to, ruminate on?  Nothing.  I am just back.  And that perhaps is enough...

...And We're Back!

I thought I was done but I'm back again, funny how things work out...

I came home to Sydney almost two years ago thinking it was going to be forever, that I would finally settle down, get a job, start a family and become an active, productive, tax paying member of Australian society again.  Fate however would have other thoughts.  It has been one long winded way of getting myself a job offer from NYC, a move that would potentially mean leaving Australia's shores for a long, long time.

It's taken a while to get organised, but last Friday my E3 visa to the US was approved; I'm officially allowed to enter the States to live and work there.  Indefinitely.  This means I have exactly 4 weeks from today before I get on a plane to fly back to Taiwan for a 2 week stopover with my family before I begin my new life in the land of freedom fries, Barak Obama and the blues.

Time to restart the countdown.

Goodbye

The window opened a little and I saw a sliver of expression of the interior. It was dark, though the light touched lightly upon a corner of a padded chair, highlighting the gentle fall of dust above it, an indication of the still and warmly hypnotic air inside. There's no one there any more, the house is empty. Soon a cool breeze will blow and rattle the curtains, beating the dust into a flurry of a dust storm until they settle, and disappear to their secret life.

Tuned

1:44am

Listening to a compilation called 'Music to Kill Yourself To'. An inventive title from someone least likely to kill themselves, I congratulate them for their attempt at darkly humour. I actually listen to these melodic renditions of the human consciousness with growing speckles of hope and affirmation. Music has never played a significant role in my past life, in my youth nor hours of turmoil. I don't understand the lifeline it has been to numerous others; there has been no musically defining moment that I can recall. The kind of music I've grown to associate myself with, because social norm demands an allegiance, has been the kind of careless frivolity. Shallow and trivial, my musical tastes lack depth of emotion and intellect of tortured artists that speak the truth of the individual and hence, the collective. I am not ashamed. I choose to be unrepresented by the fretted.

But 'Music to Kill Yourself To' isn't exclusive to the world of angst. It too speaks gracefully of beauty, of self awareness and dare I say, love? As the listener I hold objectivity towards the material presented but I cannot deny my natural state to interpret with subjectivity. With this qualification, I say this is a compilation that champions hope and light. I want to free fall into the depths, to see with my own eyes, touch with my own hands and connect with my own heart, the soul, of the man who compiled 'Music to Kill Yourself To'.

Adventure's End

I'm no longer in Taiwan. I am in Sydney. I have moved back to Sydney for good.

Between the last post and this one, quite a lot has happened. Time for a recap as my memory as already become fuzzy. I don't want to forget some important times so let's do it as per usual, countdown style, from end of employment to my return to Sydney.

Week 6, Dec 13 - 19
Taipei
First week of unemployment and hence, freedom. Began research for 2-week trip to Vietnam, departing the following week. Also began packing up apartment, as will only have one week left after coming back from Vietnam before lease is up. It's turning out to be a bigger job than I had imagined.
Stress level: moderate

Week 5, Dec 20 - 27
Taipei/Hanoi/Sapa/Halong Bay
Packed for Vietnam right up to the last minute. Departed for Hanoi on Tuesday Dec 22. On the flight decided the best way to see Hanoi is through a local, so made friends with the Vietnamese guy sitting next to me. 26 year old Wun Hong has been in Taiwan for 3 years, working and sending money back to his family in Vietnam. It's his first time back visiting and I predicted that he'd cry when he sees them at the airport. He agreed. His family doesn't live in Hanoi but rather the outskirts but we nevertheless swapped numbers and planned to meet up whilst I'm there. Friend objective achieved.

Experience culture shock upon arrival in Hanoi. The Old Quarter where hostel and most tourist attractions reside is a maze of look-alike streets, crammed to the rafters with motorbike traffic. Sights and smells out of this world. Feeling overwhelmed as even something you'd think as simple as crossing the street is an immensely difficult activity - that's how crazy the traffic was. But at the same time can understand how intoxicating the entire mix can be, that is, the exoticism of Asian culture here. Thankfully meet like-minded travellers at the hostel which is in part why travel is so attractive and rewarding.

Two common trips outside of Hanoi is to trek Sapa in the mountains towards the north and take an overnight boat cruise in Halong Bay towards the east. I had pre-planned so that I would spend Christmas in Sapa. It was a great idea as Christmas was utterly non-existent there and I felt a world away. The best way to escape and de-tox from my previous existence in Taipei.

I recommend Sapa but not Halong Bay. Perhaps it was the weather, perhaps it was the company. I'm not sure, but it just wasn't my cup of tea. Furthermore I come to conclusion that any visitor to Vietnam, Asian or not, will be ripped off at some point or another. It's just a matter of how much. So, simply know this and you will have a better experience of Vietnam.

Again, whilst in Sapa and Halong, met some great traveller friends.
Stress level: high

Week 4, Dec 28 - Jan 03
Hanoi/Ho Chi Minh City/Taipei
As per my plan, flew to Ho Chi Minh City on Dec 30 to spend NYE there and catching up with a friend who was flying in from Bangkok, someone I hadn't seen for 6 years. But first thing I did in Ho Chi Minh? Get myself pampered with a half-day spa package to feel relaxed and beautiful for NYE. It was the perfect start to 2010.

Also made local friend number 2 in my taxi driver from the airport to the hotel. Tho is 22 years old, originally from Hanoi but has worked in Ho Chi Minh for 2 years. Each month he only gets 2 days off work and as a young man it's difficult as he wants to have a girlfriend and enjoy himself as anyone his age should. But he's wanting to save enough money to go to cooking school, which he will be able to next year. Good luck Tho, you're almost there.

Say fond farewell to Vietnam and my friend from Bangkok as we part ways at the airport on Jan 03.
Stress level: moderate

Week 3, Jan 04 - Jan 10
Taipei
Nothing to do except plan packing strategy and tying up boring loose ends ie. utilities, banks, phones. Catch up with ex-colleagues for lunch to farewell CG supervisor RK. A great guy who's going back to the US.
Stress level: low

Week 2, Jan 11 - Jan 17
Taipei/Taichung/Ali Shan
Last week at the Taipei apartment. It was sad to see it go. At the end of the week Mum and Dad comes to pick me up and we go back to Taichung. A little sad but mini trip to Ali Shan that weekend cheered me up immensely. Went with 1 ex-colleague from Standard and 2 ex-colleagues from Digimax. A very happy and fun trip where we got out of bed at 5am to climb a mountain to see the sun rise. Beautiful. Also walked through an amazing cedar tree forest, with trees up to 1000 years old. Just lovely.
Stress level: low

Week 1, Jan 18 - Jan 24
Taichung/Tainan/Kaohsiong/Taipei
Last few days in Taiwan. Mum and Dad takes me on a little holiday to Tainan and Kaohsiong. Most importantly for me though, it was a chance to see my granddad one last time before I leave. My 91 year old granddad. I love him to bits and berate myself for never having enough time to visit him. There is something I want to do for him and I really hope I manage this in time. Fingers crossed.

I never knew Tainan to be the historical hot spot that it is. A great town to visit. We stayed at the newest hotel in town and it was damn swank. Kaohsiong was host to the 2009 World Games so a visit to the main stadium was necessary. Many other sites were also worthy destinations. All in all, it was the best way to spend time with my parents and to see a bit more of Taiwan, to fall in love with both all over again.

Dec 23 was the last Saturday I would spend in Taiwan, so took a coach up to Taipei to catch up with my friends for the very last time for dinner and drinks. At the end of the night, M takes out marker and gets us to sign his T shirt. R's suggested that M also draw caricatures of us all to commemorate the night. He's an amazingly talented artist.
Stess level: moderate

Week 0, Jan 26
Taipei/Sydney
Packed to the very last minute. Again. We leave the house at 4:30am to get to the airport around 5:30am, for my 6:30am flight. As I wheeled my luggage into the airport I see a familiar face. It's M. I am shocked and in disbelief. Then R appears, followed by T and E. 4 of my favourite boys have come to give me a surprise send-off! To be there that early on a Tuesday morning showed me how great these guys were. Love them all to bits.

Saying goodbye to Mum and Dad was hard too. Dad is his usual cool self to keep emotions under check, but Mum as mums do got a bit teary and so did I.

I leave Taiwan with a heavy heart, arriving in Sydney feeling almost like a new immigrant. It's Jan 26, Australia Day. I've finally come home.
Stress level: high

Rebirth

December 11, 2009. It was an ending unlike other endings, with a series of unexpected events. There was so much happiness and general candidness. Dinner at Dozo with the PM team and endearingly the MIS boys. The early bomb of the night though, little P whom I thought was the baby of the MIS team was soon to be an accidental daddy and hence, married. Congratulations were in order. Before long, I was ushered to drinks and dancing at Ziga Zaga. Completely unbeknownst to us were the surprising presence of her majesty H and J at the door - they had dropped R off from their dinner. H and J were the last people any of us had expected to see. The fact that I had a minute's audience with H after lunch was already a minute too long. Poor W, caught alone at the entrance as they awaited my arrival. Some necessary chit chat eventually ended and we were finally dismissed. Inside, the group gathered strength and everyone seemed to be having a roaring good time. Some where in the middle we said goodbye to V and walked her out. As she left on the back of her boyfriend's motorbike a group entered the hotel. There were some camera flashes, some fans with pens and CD covers and bodyguards - three members of Guns N' Roses had arrived. T with drunken fervour asked for autographs. I soberly asked for hugs. With fairy dust dappled on us we headed back to the club. The night continued in great form. Drinks arrived on the house. Dancing dancing dancing. We were exuberant and having fun. Absolute darlings. Eventually the group diminished till there was only four, plus me. Lights were turned on. T was in no condition to go home less we were prepared to pay some massive cleaning fee to the cab driver so we decided to crash at the hotel instead. Drinks and cards till we couldn't keep awake any longer. It was finally dark and quiet and a few hours later, it was time to check out. We pretended lunch was a hang-over cure but it wasn't. Cab ride home at 2pm. I am at the front of my apartment building, ruined make-up, in last night's party clothes, holding a gigantic bunch of roses (a gift from the team). The finale* of a "lifetime" in Taiwan. The countdown begins again.

Outcry

I wish I had the strength for an outcry. The past couple of months have depleted me. I have nothing left. December 11th. Mark that momentous day in your calendar. My last day at work.