Surrealism No 2

I'm helping a new colleague from LA move into his new apartment. On the day, the landlord was still moving out with her young daughter and elderly mother. As conversation ensues and chatter flows, I find myself translating between my colleague who speaks not a word of Mandarin and the elderly mother who has a rapid-fire tongue and an obvious love of talking the way some older people tend to do.

She is fiendishly unstoppable, increasingly looking and speaking directly to my colleague in Mandarin rendering me useless. Occassionally I throw a few English words over her shoulder at him and he smiles and nods in understandingly at her. He mumbles a reply in English when there is a gap which I translate into Mandarin. She beams and is encouraged. Her conversation escalates. The flow of Mandarin ramp up and even Taiwanese is brought forth. But perhaps a little hassled at my inability to either keep up or talk over her, she throws in a couple of English words for good measure.

Without missing a beat I turn and begin translating English into Mandarin. I wear the translator's hat very well. Then I realise I am speaking Mandarin to a dumbfounded white man who's been in Taiwan for less than a week.

One word. Beleagured.