Catharsis

I feel like I'm drowning today. Water has seeped into my ears and dulled the sounds around me making them far, far away. I feel removed from everything at the moment like I'm in my own bubble. People glide around me, they see me and say hello but I respond in muted tones. Not sure if they recognise my lack of enthusiasm. Maybe they don't, maybe they do. Maybe they do and they don't care. I don't care.

The days in the office drag. I shuffle paper. Not in any kind of significant way but rather in the mind-numbing, soul-debilitating way. I have lost my humanity to the papers. A co-worker here (a women faded in years, with superlative self-importance) dictates the most menial, laboriously fickle and inane instructions in the handling of said papers. Don't forget to wipe the photocopier first to rid that speck of dust (that one tiny speck n one sees but her because she has nothing else to occupy her mind with except that speck, her foot problem and her next cigarette break).

There is a greater world out there, one that is full of adventure and joy and unknown fears and bounty, not collapsable because it is so full of life and energy. Of fascinating people and history and culture. A friend is preparing to stage her second play; another is back packing through South American countries encountering live volcanoes; another won a green card in the US lottery and for the past year has provided numerous documents and sustained months of agonising wait to finally be told he is allowed to enter the most heavily guarded country in the world, to begin a life that millions dream, to have a chance at a life not afforded to citizens of his country of birth, to encounter possible hardships in adapting to a new country but also the possible rewards from affecting real grit and determination.

Take that into perspective and look at yourself, lady.

I need to get outta here.